I’m now in underground stealth mode, ready to hack society for my UHNWI status and get my hedonistic rockz off at the same time!! 
My big achievement aspirations have resurfaced and it looks like I’m soon going to be exiting the Age of Fuck You and regressing back to working for 1980s Fuck You Money. If it wasn’t for the Double P culture of high finance, I wouldn’t have to compromise my open self-expression, but I do. That’s okay, because I can be Bruce Wayne & Batman the Dark Knight at the same time. So I will still be living as my same naughty self in the shadows of the night, while making my millions during the day. And when I get my fuck you money, in my 30s, I will likely reengage in my openly public hedonism, cause it is really super fun. …Money never sleeps. This is your wakeup call, pal. Go to work.
I think in order to hit a financial homerun at this point, the most effective & leveraged optimization I could make is to take on a personal identity of what I’m labeling a “dumbass dealmaker”. With shit loads of technical business/financial skills & knowledge under my belt, the biggest hurdle is still the self-confidence aspect of going out and making rain as dealmaker in high finance.
This would be a niche application of my dumbass strategy, where I would purposely drop the need to come off as capable & credible, by other people’s judgment, in the pursuit of being a professional dealmaker. It wouldn’t matter if I was perceived in the worst of ways as total looney, and hard rejected by businesspeople, because it’d just be the default expectation of a “dumbass dealmaker”. Of course, this wouldn’t actually be the likely reality, but it’s all about overcoming the psychological hurdle.
This dumbass strategy has worked great for me in general social settings, so applying it to the niche business activity of dealmaking could help propel me forward right now in a major way. I’m going to work on implementing this.
I often find it quite hard to describe myself comprehensively without the other person prematurely putting me into a single box. So I’ve preempted this by choosing the best singular box to primarily identify as. However, I’d still like to peg the effective communication of my multifaceted identity & development as a human being. It sounds too broad when I try currently. I just don’t have the words yet. I’m getting closer though.
Spent about 8 hours today getting a new version of my custom information system finalized for my marketing business (Version 1.9). This is a really key version for me to have right now as it has some more extensive reporting features to help further optimize my campaigns. By the way, I’m using this version numbering system.
Like amateurs & professionals in entrepreneurship, I’ve found that hedonism has its divide of noobs & leets. While entrepreneurship is about maximizing personal profits, hedonism is about maximizing personal pleasure. Since pleasure is internal, one’s own self-love & self-discovery is usually what helps move you towards elite hedonism. I guess I was a pure natural, cause I’m bangin’ on all cylinders baby. This shit is ferocious!
What if you treated yourself as an asset to continuously upgrade, with version numbers associated to each improvement, like architecting better software.
You could use a version numbering system of “X.Y.Z”, where…
X = major life & identity paradigms
Y = meaningfully impactful improvements within the current X
Z = small incremental improvements within the current Y
Then what should your personal standard be for how often you add X, Y, Z improvements to yourself & life?
For me, on average, I probably upgrade my X version once per decade, my Y version once per month, and my Z version once per day. Of course, each improvement often comes with it’s bugs & flaws, but there is an consistent net gain overall in myself & my life. Though, I’d like to iterate a bit faster throughout my future.
Currently, I’m probably around something like version 3.12.20 of myself.
Here is more info on Version 3.0 of me.
What version of yourself are you on? How’s your development roadmap looking?
There’s always conflicting judgments of meaning by experts in about every area of life. Why not learn about some of the mechanics so that you can then better reason your own accurate interpretations of meaning for the areas of your life that count most. If it really matters to your life, then why not have it figured out, instead of perpetually guessing or trusting someone else to have your best interests in mind with their personal conclusions. Of course, we can’t know it all, so a hybrid of both is optimal overall.
When you feel like giving up on humanity, there are certain juicy parts that you’d be giving up on as well. You’re using a blanket perspective on the whole world, which will kill many effective outlets of pleasure. Instead, find a way to live a life of primarily sucking on the cherry of humanity. Leave the rest alone.
The heart of entrepreneurship is marketing. However, at the heart of the entrepreneur’s role is business development.
Achievement without social support is often a very tough thing. This tough path is one of being truly self-made, compared to doing it with others. There’s pros & cons to both, but most will ultimately crumble & fail if going it alone.
You’re a peculiar human being. May I thoroughly inspect you? Whoops, I already have. Actually, I really like who you are inside. Does the world know about these special parts of you? Yeah, they never get it, huh. Well, I’m finding the real you to be delicious. I’m Brian.
The ratio of plutonium to ecstasy when applied to quadratic equations in bondage is your mother’s bean. It’s not rocket science…geez.
You’re a boring robot to talk to. What’s that? You want me to keep hanging out with you? Fine, bitch, then you’ve got to stop being a boring human, or else I’ll make like a tree.
What’s that? You aren’t good at expressing yourself? Look motherfucker, you aren’t going to offend me or weird me out by treating me like we’ve always been close siblings.
Just go nuts and be your REEEEEAAAALLL self, raw & visceral. You know, that eccentric or edgy part of your personality that you suppress when acting all well put-together out in the world. I’ll probably love that shit and be your new best friend. Go. Get. Naked. Now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A lusciously hot song from Kesha that eroticizes one’s mouth…
Mouth by Kesha
It’s so good to know you…
I can’t wait to show you… my, my, my la da da da da da da da…
The feelin I get, the feelin I get… la da da da da da da da…
Get under my skin…
Come touch this mouth, mouth, mouth…
this mouth, mouth, mouth…
my mouth, mouth, mouth…
this mouth, mouth, mouth…
my mouth, mouth, mouth
Mouth by Kesha (Unreleased)
Russians constantly spam my website, but I still love the shit out of them. They are my comrades and my second home. I know their spam comes from Russia with love.
Where is your self-esteem coming from? Is it coming from something external, like… Money / Luxuries / Status / Achievements / Friends / Lovers
Since my personal transformation, my self-esteem now comes from my customized personal identity, how aligned it is with my true desires, and how free I feel to express it.
This has been a really awesome innovation for my life. External sources will always be vulnerable to severe change, but you can’t take away my own personal identity that is truly me. I wear it openly with great ecstasy!! Now, my self-esteem is so clean & evergreen, I’m like a machine. 
I’ve noticed that my cum is smelling & tasting a bit sweeter as I get older. Is this normal?? I mean…biologically normal. 
I expect the year 2025 to be one hell of a fucking ride for me. How’s your 2025 looking from here??
Watching female tennis might actually be hotter than watching porn. Definitely so if a Russian is playing.
I’ve recently been having a very cool & raw email exchange about deep issues relating to self-discovery and root personal desires for the purpose of maximizing one’s happiness.
I really feel like I successfully articulated some key distinctions that I haven’t done so this well before. So I wanted to share this important stuff.
Here is an anonymized copy of some of the most valuable excerpts that I personally wrote…
You’re vaguely dreaming about a super fun, pleasurable, & happy experience of life like this, but you’re currently headed in a different direction (achievement), and are unaware of the experiential treasures that exist in abundance on the opposite side. You say success is a journey, but I think you’re seriously trashing your journey, compared to what it could be. I needed to do a complete 180 to discover this alternate reality, so that I could discover the true me and live accordingly.
Know that this mountain is largely inside of you that you’re trying to trek through an uphill battle of clouded identity, meaning, & desires.
Yes, I know there is a necessary transition period of real potential pain & risk.
But, you’re not correctly balancing the value of the massive reward that’s waiting with the relatively small costs. Your scale of actual cost vs benefit is way skewed in the wrong direction.
You haven’t yet taken the plunge to personally experience & fully understand the amazing treasures that are on this next level. I know that much of you wants it and is putting effort into it. Despite that, you still look totally blocked from here.
Based on my experience, a person who still views the bulk of their desires through their success goals, has not yet successfully translated their goals into the specific root desires of human connection & social lifestyle, and will largely live like a robot, compared to the real human being underneath. In addition to clearly seeing this in you, it is how I view my past self now too.
This translation phase from success goals to social desires takes real time & deep introspection from the right perspective. However, I think, whether it takes you 1, 10, or 50 years, you’ll end up seeing that the bulk of your goals ultimately can be translated into these types of root desires. I think it’s just human nature. Until one is conscious of many more of these specific subconscious root desires, then they won’t be operating as their true self. They will be a robot who is still primarily chasing important sounding goals (phantom desires). The most potent amount of happiness always lies within the root desires behind the others.
This goes beyond pain/pleasure. Go see my “Simplified Model of Human Psychology” to demonstrate this. You see, pain/pleasure is an agnostic entity that will be there in any human regardless. You need to go down a level and figure out more of the subconscious *personal* meaning inside of you. That’s what this is about. If you look on a generalized level of pain/pleasure for yourself, then you’ll be seriously limited. There are many many fibers of subconscious personal meaning that make up an overall feeling of pain/pleasure. A lot of these fibers of meaning in people are threads of social conditioning and not their true selves or their “essence”. However, they’d never know if only flying by the default economics of their overall pain/pleasure. When you hack into your subconscious personal meaning, you can literally change the game of pain/pleasure and not have to operate on defaults. But most people, even self-improvement peeps, aren’t really into reading & hacking their subconscious selves. It takes real work.
My personal desires are not another person’s desires, including you. I do believe in principle that human connection & hedonistic sensory pleasure are behind way more desires of people’s, as root desires, than they realize. However, I wouldn’t say that what you currently want is absolutely wrong for you. I don’t know specifically. I’m just saying that you seem to have not yet reached this level of subconscious self-discovery I’m speaking of to more directly observe this stuff. So I don’t specifically know. And I don’t think you specifically know yet.
You don’t believe what I believe about the details of human connection & hedonistic sensory pleasure making up more of your root desires. That’s principally fine. I’m not trying to change the world with my beliefs.
I’m not saying that you should consciously give up on success or humanitarianism at all. I’m saying that you are still largely on an “idea” level of your desires, instead of more directly reading your root desires straight from the subconscious code of your mind. I think one’s desires are your desires, and one doesn’t actually consciously choose them into existence. One might create ideas of them. However, what is actually real at the root level is contained in the subconscious code of our minds. I think you’re still largely blocked out of accessing this level. So I think your goals are currently clouded compared to the true nature of your subconscious desires.
That was my experience, but it is also what I’ve come to find is the accurate model of most all people’s psychology for this stuff. Unless you are an insanely lucky lotto winner and pegged yourself correctly on this deeper subconscious level without actually going there to observe it directly.
However, the evidence of how you state your desires tells me that you are probably off. It’s like professional entrepreneur reading a business plan written by an amateur entrepreneur. It’s not that the person has the wrong intentions. It’s that they are just not presently operating with a comparable level of technical expertise and it clearly shows to the pro.
Again, I’m not saying that you should give up success & humanitarianism. I don’t know what specifically unique & potent desires reside within your unique subconscious beyond these ideas. Although, I’d guess that many of them might have something to do with human connection & hedonistic sensory pleasure.
And I think these are largely the real subconscious motivators of why you are chasing success & humanitarianism.
Again, we can’t know until you’re truly capable of reading your subconscious code.
Ultimately, if you succeed with your current level of desires, you’re going to be very happy anyway.
You might be blocked out from consistently experiencing my technically defined levels of happiness that I call “fulfillment” & “transcendence” (which is hard for anybody, including me), but you will still be very happy & stoked, compared to the normally happy individual.
So there’s no major issue with you compared to most others. You’re already driving around in a Ferrari with your current level of self-discovery & development. That’s cool compared to most people who are driving rusty sedans. I’m just trying to help tune you into a Formula One race car.
I’m just fixated at this moment on judging the potential lossed chunk of happiness for you by not overcoming this block and being able to reach this deep into your subconscious & essence.
I think your adamant beliefs of how things specifically are with you about desiring success & humanitarianism are actually preventing you from this level of deeper self-discovery.
Our root desires are where the real potency is at.
The truth of our root desires is in the subconscious code.
I’m only advocating for you to gain the ability to accurately read the language of your subconscious code, then discover your own custom truth on that level.
Ha! Now people are googling to find out if I’m gay or not. Nope, I’m just a lesbian with a cock.
Society is only becoming more open & permissive. Your edgy & eccentric sides will be quite tame to people in the future. So why waste more years of your life continuing this double life of personal repression & fake fitting in? Once you come out of the closet as the real you, and enjoy the freedom of self-expression & direct pursuit of your unrestricted desires, you’ll kick yourself for not living this way much sooner.
Just openly be the totally real you for the entirety of your life. 100% authentic is the best way to spend your life as human. I’ve now lived on both sides and I’ll never go back. Soon, the bulk of society will be here with us. Join me, bitch.
White collar… Blue collar… Popped collar… Dog collar… Sub collar…
Which one do you identify with??
Me… Sub.
I really love figuring stuff out in life. Once I’ve figured new stuff out, there’s not always a direct outlet of real personal value to implement the wisdom on. However, over time, a large breadth & depth of understanding in life creates an abundance of outlets for transforming that wisdom into real personal value. But, for me, the direct pleasure of figuring stuff out is of real personal value as well. That’s why I’m addicted to figuring stuff out and have become a polymath over the years.
It’s largely because of the ongoing painful & boring labor of humanity that individuals like me can choose to pursue pleasure/happiness with such extreme emotional self-interest, and still live in an environment of material & technological abundance. Because hardly anybody would bother to develop such innovations & offerings if they discovered and followed their true core desires.
This is theoretically evidenced by what would happen if a simulated reality was dropped in our laps today. Although, this equation would change if serious life extension became available and much longer lifespans made the cost to benefit ratio more personally beneficial to one’s happiness. Also, it largely won’t matter once we systematize the physical world to go live in the virtual world almost full-time.
Do you really truly believe that today’s societal norms are even close to the best way for living your one life as a human being? Maybe not? Then why do you base your life on this collective crap? Optimize yourself with alternative paths & identities.
Everyone needs money to fund the living of their life and most of us have desires that could be seriously enhanced by having an abundance of financial wealth. The problem is that hardly anybody takes the time to understand the nature of commerce and how to effectively pursue making serious money.
I wanted to be a rich dude from a young age, so I’ve personally obsessed over this study for a long time. If you’re interested, then here are the cliffs notes… Predictable Paths to Financial Freedom
I’m simply a vessel for my personal desires. I don’t actually matter. It’s all about my desires.
Yeah, I’m also one of these… (Narratophile/Narratophilia). Even if you wash my dirty mouth out with soap, my mind will still be soiled.
To eroticize shit that traditionally isn’t meant to be is often quite fun & pleasurable. And it being somewhat taboo can add to the pleasure of such forbidden fruits. Shit like doctor visits, school houses, communism, sports, violence, family relations, military regimes, animals, etc. It is quite common to our human nature. You just need to explore yourself more thoroughly.
I’ve found traditional family ideology to ultimately be pretty limited & false in my real life experience. However, the traditional nuclear & extended family sure is one hell of a potent story of meaning to use within ageplay. Let’s play house together, baby.
In the world of personal development, people often define what they want in colorful & creative statements that read like new age vision statements. This is bullshit, because it is obscuring the person’s raw visceral desires and trying to make the statement of them into a more fun thing onto itself.
The real source of fun & pleasure comes from the actual pure desires inside of you, not the fake doctoring of them, no matter how colorful or creative. Ultimately, that will normalize and you still won’t have a super solid grip on what you desire exactly. Just be raw with yourself upfront so that you can actually discover what is real and has evergreen potency within you.
I’ll give you a bag of You can’t blame another person for having and choosing more fun options than spending their time with you. Just become more fun yourself and seek out the people who really enjoy your kind of fun. We are all unique individuals out for our personal happiness.
Need to hitchhike your way to the state of transcendence?? I’ll take ass, cash, or your bus pass…cause nobody rides for free.
The other day, a sexy ass friend of mine was wanting to get a better grip on his investment goals with the combined effects of inflation. So I whipped up this spreadsheet that acts as an investment calculator.
It basically computes an annual return on investment, while also demonstrating the effects of an inflation adjusted cost of living. As most people would be, he was surprised to see the powerful value rotting effects of compounding inflation.
Here is a copy of the investment calculator… [Investment Calculator]
You can play with the five key variables in red on the right hand side to see what your financial future might look like. Just plug in estimates of these five items for your own personal future…
- Starting Capital Needed
- Annual Cost of Living
- Annual Rate of Return
- Annual Rate of Inflation (5% Default)
- Annual Rate of Taxation
Are you truly being the real you? Or are you like a collection of responsibilities with a mailing address?
When you tenaciously pursue the discovery of your human nature & subconscious desires, you find the limits of personal meaning for a lot of things you thought you cared more deeply for. This can be a downer at times, but this path is much more fun & pleasurable overall. The new raw potent pleasure gained is worth more than the old traditional pleasure lost.
Santa Claus gives coal to naughty boys like me because he’s jealous that Mrs. Claus likes to cuckold him by screwing naughty boys in the back seat of his sleigh. Fuck you, Santa!!
Those with conventional views on their happiness have very little potential to actually experience a life of heightened happiness. It takes a fundamentally different paradigm to consciously sustain it at such heightened levels. I hate to burst your average bubble, but you need yourself a more transcendent psycho bubble.
The duality of heightened happiness & achievement really sucks donkey dick. What it takes to achieve the tangible success that can help one be more free & happy also severely stunts one’s capability for transcendent pleasure. Transcendence is found in the bubble world mindset, while serious achievement is gained in the real world mindset.
Basically, how you create a life of transcendence is to create your own psycho bubble, create a bubble world with your best friends, and continuously pursue your most potent desires through these bubbles. The real world will never ever compare.
I’m so techno erotic, future robotic, suped-up like sonic…just lick it, you got it.
It’s ultimately not about the people. It’s about the desires & happiness themselves within us. We just temporarily associate people to these core internal drives, albeit quite intensely, but not forever.
We are samurai. The keyboard cowboys. And all those other people out there who have no idea what’s going on are the cattle. Moooo.
I’m having an ongoing discussion about personal identity & social desires with a close friend of mine. I prepared a document, off the top of my head, that outlines my own primary social desires for our conversation. I thought I’d publicly publish a copy of it here as well, just for shitz & gigz…
My idea of an amazing romantic relationship is not very traditionally “romantic” but is super dynamic, pleasurable, fun, & deep. Full of outrageous happiness for sure.
The more & more I make my life experience one pure with only my custom people, the more plain vanilla people are tasting like rusty butthole to me. I just want to suck on the cherry of humanity. That’s the sweetest part.
Vanilla people taste kind of bland in comparison to more alternative & exotic minded humans. Wouldn’t you agree??
